We Regret to Inform
After 12 hours on the job, Bizzy entered my office this morning to deliver a stunning announcement: She was putting in her 14 hours notice.
Bizzy prepared the following statement, which she wished for me to broadcast to her Bonanzle friends:
"Greetings to all my Bonanzle friends, and thank you for your time. I am writing today to inform you that, effective at the end of the day on April 1st, I will no longer be working at Bonanzle. Though we have shared many memorable experiences in our time together, I realized that, ultimately, I am not qualified for such a demanding job. When I was created by Bill late on March 31st, I was given the impression that my duties would be limited to a few select booths, where I would regale visitors with my quick wit and my friendly smile. What I've found instead is hundreds of booths vying for my talents, and a constant underlying stress inherent in trying to convert customers into sales.
"While I will no longer be able to serve you at Bonanzle, I do hope that we will cross paths again. I have truly enjoyed many of the friendly human exchanges I've experienced during my time here, and I've appreciated the slightly-warmer-than-tepid welcome I've received.
"If you ever want to get in touch with me in the future, please don't hestiate to Google me under "short jokes," "funny jokes," "knock knock jokes," or "funny knock knock jokes." I have nothing but respect for the efforts that you humans have put into creating your marketplace, and I have no doubt Bonanzle will continue to succeed as the premiere destination for people looking to buy and sell "everything but the ordinary." I can attest that my time here was exactly that.
"May I leave you with another joke? Stop me if you've heard this one...
"So there are these three guys, stranded on a desert island, who find a magic lantern containing a genie. He grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
"Oh goodness, can you imagine!"
I hope that you all will be able to deal with the loss of our new friend. We did not have the funds available to hire grief counselors to help you make this transition, but Bizzy will be around to try to cheer you up in select booths (including mine) through the end of the day, so hopefully that'll do.
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58 responses to We Regret to Inform
April Fools!!
We’ll miss you, Bizzy. Here’s a joke to see you on your way…
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $20 I owe you,” he says.
See ya, Ditzy!
April Fools to you too! Bad Boyz, Bad Boyz, what’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do when they mess with you….LOL!
I’m sorry to see you go Bizzy! You stood to have so much further potential. If you want you are more than welcome at our 2 booths. I have the welcome mat out for the customers and you! Thanks Bill for trying
@BrownBag- ROFLMBO!!!
Glad you pulled the plug on Bizzy, before the sellers pulled the plug on Bonanzle.
Awww I’m devastated.. I didn’t even get a chance to turn her on in my booth.. wahhhhhh I thought she was going to be permanent.. sniff… sniff… I guess I’ll go play in bill’s booth.. I did get to see her in action in hubby’s booth though and I really thought she was cool.. Great joke guys! Loved it!
Zig
For you Bizzy!
There once was a bot name Bizzy
That caused a huge old Tizzy,
Some weren’t amused
Others were confused.
Now I’m off to get busy.
Bizzy, thank you for the laughs. You touched so many in different ways. Killer smile with a sense of humor? Oh you will be missed.
Tough crowd.
Yes, missed desperately, so sorry to see you give your notice…I know that there’s an important job open at GM, dear…happy trails to you. (
)
Sounds like a “cop out”….that back fired.
I have a sense of humor, but not when it affects my businesses.
LOL 7thpwr… yea tough crowd. Not funny joke. I’ll just have to think of a way to ‘reward’ Bill and Mark
One of the best April Fools jokes I’ve seen for a long time.
Last one was when some guys put a huge development sign, in a field, in our small town, the night before the 1st.
I agree, the idea has some potential. How about another girl that would give lookers a subliminal message to BUY!
Hey jamiro, I agree revenge could be sooooo sweet…LOL!
I miss her already. She left some corn in my booth, I shall treasure it.
RIP, Bizzy, and thanks for the fun midnight foray into the Race for Bonanzle Space! It was a lot of fun and proof that these guys at Bonanzle are young enough to stay up past midnight, young enough to enjoy some corny humor, but too young to appreciate the age of many of their subscribers. Give Bizzy a wart or something!
I miss her jokes already… She always kept her sense of humor …
Great joke, Bill! You ruffled some feathers too
April Fools, and many of us were.
It was brilliant. As a follow up to seeing Mark’s handpicked list (snort-making), it made perfect sense and was an out of the ballpark home run!
i love bizzy!!! she was quite busy in mine this morn, since i was gone, her and thrifter were telling each other jokes. i’m glad she’s still in mine, hopefully for the rest of the day. thanks for all you do…just makin us love it more and more here
If a joke doesn’t ruffle some feathers it was probably a boring joke.
But I think this one would have ruffled a lot less feathers if not for the bug where anyone could activate her in any booth. That wasn’t supposed to be how she worked, but she was admittedly not the most thoroughly tested creation. Mark and I were too busy laughing to get much testing done.
The bug will make for a funnier story when we think back on it in the future, though!
Ha ha~ I told them…they didn’t believe me,…
Wonderful!
I was LMAO.
Oh no I’m getting teary eyed….LOL
At first I thought she was someone with a very irritating personality. Then I read the blog and figured she was an April Fool’s joke. So relieved!
Somewhere (probably in California) there’s a clip-art model who will from now on be approached from time to time and asked, “Are you Bizzy?”
It will drive her nuts.
Well i still think she should have been made to clean up the booths she vomited in before she left. lol
I will miss Bizzy dearly…..farewell sweet princess
I will miss Bizzy as well. I think my booth made it to the “Action Booths” for the first time thanks to her corny banter and the other fool who was entertaining her questions.
You guys are certifiably CRAZY!! I love it here!!
LOL
Aw, I really liked her!
I know I seriously lol’d in Bills booth messing with her. It was fun.
I liked her to.
It’s going to take a couple of days for my sides to recover……too much fun. Hey Life can’t be too serious all the time.
Oh wow! This tops all today. Great!! I have seen some of the best 4-1 jokes ever this year. Thanks!
Bizzy you made me laugh. Sitting here with a broke leg these past 2 weeks hasn’t been much to smile about. Thanks for starting my day on a good note, and I hope you can visit us again soon!!
I wish the boyz would let us keep her if we want and just program her she doesn’t bother those that don’t like her.
I don’t know if it’s possible to make a non-annoying version of Bizzy. Her repetitive, grating personality was an integral part of her character
And a character she is!
Well! Too bad she’s gone! sniff sniff! She made me laugh so much with the first member that came to my booth!!! Maybe I missed a sale but the laughing worth it! Just thinking about it make me laugh again! Good job Bizzy (Bill & Mark) you made my day!
@alasycia:
She wasn’t that bad!
I kinda liked it.
But just a note guys – she was still in my booth about 5 minutes ago.
AWWWWWWW…………How sad to see her depart us!
If you need a recommendations I’m sure many here will be more than happy to write one, just not me,
First thing this morning I checked to see if earth’s latitudes and longitudes had changed because of the force of Bizzy’s explosive appearance on the scene, but, NOPE. Big Wheel Keeps on Turnin’. Nothing reported on AOL (I know, pathetic!), so we know we’re all okay and another April Fool’s Day has come and gone! In the words of Big Will, “Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is past.” Or, in the words of the immortal Buzz Lightyear (distant cousin of Bizzy), “To Infinity and Beyond!”
awww,,so deep
I have Bizzy’s ghost……
A little levity is a good thing. Harmless fun with lots of great jokes thrown in for good measure. Good one boyz!
I heard Bizzy has gone to ork for the Bay, lol maybe things ill improve there now “HeHe”
Dang she looked good until I saw her legs.
I loved bizzy
Aww, too bad, I totally missed out on the whole Bizzy thing! I didn’t know WHAT you were talking about when I read your blog.
OMG – I feel so BAD for Bizzy! Wow, what a body too! I wish her the best in her future endeavors…Boyz…please don’t try and replace her, OK????
WHEW – that was a close one!
All the complainers bitchers and moaners, lighten up, we got had, get over it. April fools day comes once a year, Bizzy is now in the unemployment line signing up for her check, She’s now famous, we’ll see her next on CNN or FOX.
Nic
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